Iain Rowan has very kindly tagged me in the new meme about town. I’m meant to tell you eleven facts about myself, and then answer eleven questions before rounding it off with posing eleven questions of my own for eleven other people. This thing is big on the number eleven. It makes me feel a bit Spinal Tappish.
Eleven Facts About Me:
1. Whenever I play a game like this I’m reminded of the fact that I once wrote a book called Three Things About Me, in which call-centre workers play it. Except with three things rather than eleven, obviously.
2. I can’t stand mayonnaise. Can’t even be in the room when people are eating it.
3. I never used to be a dog person, but then I got a dog, and now I am totally a dog person.
4. I have a dishwasher but I don’t use it because I like doing the washing up by hand.
5. When I do the washing up by hand I feel the urge to sing ‘A Good Heart (Is Hard to Find)’ by Feargal Sharkey.
6. I have a new story in the latest edition of Sein und Werden. It’s called ‘Ice Cold, Red Hot’.
7. I really hated Skyfall.
8. I once went to a seventies themed fancy dress party as a Charlie’s Angel. My husband went as Brut Man. We looked awesome.
9. I can’t drive a car.
10. But I have written nine novels. Five of them are pretty good. Three of them are published.
11. I took up Zumba recently. It’s fun.
Now to answer the questions Iain posed:
1. What is the single thing you are most proud of having written?
I’ve just finished writing a book called Skein Island and I think it rocks.
2. If your latest novel or story had a soundtrack by one artist, who would that be?
The one I’m writing right now has the old song ‘Soul Cake’ in it.
3. Flight, or invisibility? Choose one.
Flight. I’m already pretty good at invisibility. *blends into wallpaper*
4. Have you ever secretly based one of your characters on a real-life person, just so you can kill them off?
No. I don’t based any characters on real people, although sometimes I borrow traits.
5. Do you get more upset when one animal is harmed in a film than a hundred people?
Do you mean pretend harmed? Certainly. Although when kids get pretend-harmed, that’s so much worse. Like in the original Assault on Precinct 13 where the little child goes up to the ice cream van and gets shotgunned – that’s really not nice.
6. What’s the worst film version of a good novel that you have ever seen, and why?
I love Rebecca. I like the film version too. But a while back there was a TV version with Charles Dance and Emilia Fox, and they had a sex scene with breasts out and everything. If ever a character shouldn’t get her breasts out, it’s the nameless narrator of Rebecca.
7. What is the single thing that scares you more than anything else? I don’t mean the essential futility of life, fragility of family and all the real things, I mean the embarrassing thing that still completely creeps you out? My wife has repeatedly run into a clown collecting money recently, and that is a very good example.
8. What’s the one book that you wished you had written?
When I finished reading Rupert Thomson’s The Book of Revelation I felt quite strongly that I should have written it. If I ever got to be that skilled.
9. If you owned some variety of sports team, and had to design your own strip, what would it be like?
Brown. My husband says I’m far too fond of brown.
10. A choice: big money and sales as a ghost writer, or cult figure but poor under your own name?
A poor cult would suit my personality nicely. I’m not good with money.
11. Dolphin or manatee?
Dolphin all the way.
And here are my questions for eleven people. Play or not play, the choice is yours. I won’t name you. You know who you are.
1. How do you feel about James Bond?
2. Do you think world peace is achievable?
3. What’s the tastiest thing you’ve ever eaten?
4. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
5. Do you own slippers?
6. Have you got a long-term goal?
7. Do you think traditional publishing is dead?
8. Do you think Elvis is dead?
9. Favourite sandwich?
10. Describe yourself in one colour and two vegetables.